Why does this space exist?

Why does this space exist? It comes down to this: I love to write. I love to create. I love to express myself because even though it’s slightly terrifying every damn time I hit “publish” or “post,” it fuels my passion for expression and using my voice. Or perhaps my brain is simply looking for the dopamine rush of receiving external validation through comments and shares. Perhaps it’s both and so much more.

Regardless of my “why,” I want to remind myself to write to me in this space. Not solely for you. To me. Here’s what I mean so I don’t come across as a total jackass: when I solely try to write to you - an audience member - I can get sidetracked and distracted by trying to prove myself to you. My thoughts and words become watered down. I forget that I’m writing simply to write. I know when I write to myself - for me - I show up more fully as myself (similar to my 13-year-old self writing in my journal, yearning for a boy who didn’t love me back). I show up less filtered. More real and raw and goofy and present. This blog will be a back-and-forth dance of remembering that: swaying between remembering to write for me and remembering I’m also writing for you. 

One more thing for me to remember: when I do the things I love, including writing, it fuels me to go into society and function more fully. I can show up in all my roles with grace, kindness, and internal strength. I am a better human. Rather than working myself to the bone and hoping for 14.3 minutes to write at the end of a long day to attempt to fuel back up (especially when Netflix is calling my name), I need to remember my creativity comes first. It’s a source of my being a better human: messiness, beauty, and all of it.

Thank you for being here. I hope my writing simply inspires you to be all of you, too. 

Amanda

P.S. These words are written by me, Amanda. I clarify this because they’re not AI-generated as we see more of every day (and likely aren’t aware of). These words are written on a Saturday morning in September as I sit on my deck soaking up the last warmth of summer. If I ever do utilize full-out AI for blog posts (such as ChatGPT), I will be transparent about it. I do use the Grammarly extension to correct my typos and grammatical errors but otherwise, it’s all me, all the time.

P.P.S. If you feel compelled to share my words in any shape or form, please credit me or contact me for permission.